Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This week, I made a big decision to step down and away from a mommy group that has been a big part of my life for the last 3 years. If you don't live in suburbia, mommy groups are the lifeblood of the preschool set. Everyone seems to be in one, and it is hard to find friends and playmates if you're not in one. So, it was such a hard decision. So many conversations about goods and bads, pluses and minuses, with my husband, my sweet (and patient) mother, and between me and God. So very many conversations. And, it was a long agonizing decision.
The moment I stepped away, though, I felt the peace of standing right where I should be. I still have my doubts, though. It feels like high school all over again. Will I ever have another mommy friend? Will anyone talk to me? Will I be doomed to take my children to the playground alone for the rest of my days? And, largest, the question that plagues me at night so frequently... what if? What if I'm making a mistake? What if I'm not hearing God? What if I'm messing up the rest of my life?
And, then, the soft still voice reminds me....
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:9
Even the silly needs of someone to play with at the park. He knows. He hears. And, so, for this season of my life, I'm going to trust. That there is a plan. And a purpose. And, it doesn't include being incredibly stressed out over a volunteer leadership position that involves countless casseroles and shopping. There will be another season for that (or not). But, right now, I lean back, and I trust in the overwhelming goodness of our God. Who really will meet all my needs.