This week has been amazingly full of ups and downs, as we worried about my health, I worried about my boys surviving without me (they did fine), and I recovered from surgery. My husband has gotten a rare glimpse into exactly what I do around here. And I think that he is suitably impressed. He should be. Motherhood isn't for the faint of heart.
On the occasion of my second Mother's Day, I thought I'd offer 10 things I've learned in the last couple of years:
1. Nothing prepares you for the intensity of mothering. The constant-ness. The depth and breadth of love you feel for these little people. The way that they permeate every thing you do, every decision you make, every feeling you feel.
2. I have an awesome mother, who did so many things right. She loves Jesus with all her heart, she loves people more than things, and she taught us to chase our dreams, no matter where the flight path takes us. And, even as awesome as all that, she is an even better grandmother. Seeing her love my boys so over-the-top, in such an unconditional, full of emotion, way, well, it's a pretty wonderful thing.
3. I did not know that nursing school would prepare me for motherhood. I loved being a nurse, but I always thought nursing and mothering weren't really the same. Turns out, the skill of changing diapers in a nursing home? Means that I can honestly say "no big deal" about toddlers in cloth.
4. Seeing personalities develop before my eyes is just so fascinating and wonderful, all at once. I love seeing the first words come, their little brains figuring stuff out, and I love seeing them interact with other people.
5. A good marriage makes for a better mother. We're on the other side of a long year. One stuffed with a new baby, a job change, a house that wouldn't sell, and a salary cut. We can look and know that we're on the other side of that year now, and we're happier for it.
6. Being a mama makes you cling to Jesus like nothing else has ever done. There is no way that I could have made it through the last 2 and a half years without God. No way. He is my rock, my fortress, my place to hide. In Him alone is my hope.
7. Two little kids under the age of three makes eating out difficult. Enough said.
8. Having people around you to reassure you in your journey is a good thing. I'm very thankful for my MOPS group, for reminding me that there are thousands of women out there at every step of the journey, many of us praying daily for our kids, hoping for a wonderful future, and everyday, being excited by the things that our kids are teaching us.
9. Sometime shortly after their second birthday, little boys start looking funny in jon-jons. Yes, there. I've said it. There is an end to the jon-jons. Though, they are very, very, (did I say very?) cute while they last.
10. When I look at my bank account, it's not as fat as I would like it. When I look at where I live, it's not as wonderful or big or beautiful as I would like. When I think of my budget, it's tighter than I would like. My body isn't as thin or as beautiful as I'd like. And my hair is always going to be flat. But... when I look at my boys, I don't see any of those things. I see complete and total joy at being their mother. I am so very thankful that God has graced me with the ability to love them and help them to grow into Godly men.
I am so very blessed on this Mother's Day.